What if some of the fighting begins with how certain we are that we have to be separated?
I spend a lot of time wondering why everybody gets along here. I don’t mean perfectly…This isn’t a Disney movie. There are disagreements. Somebody steals somebody else’s food. A chicken gets offended. A cat decides a chair belongs exclusively to her and might pee on the counter if they dont’ like someone visiting… A hundred-pound dog occasionally forgets that he plays a little harder than a little baby chicken would… But somehow this ridiculous collection of creatures has become a community! Dogs, cats, chickens, roosters, ducks, turkeys, goats,,,,,along with other rescues, ferals….big and small. Some land here afraid of everyone, some arrive hurt and sick…yet somehow, overwhelmingly, they figure it out, get along and become family.
They learn each other, establish boundaries, make friendships, protect each other…share space and even the same feeding bowls…they become a tribe…without judgment……and every once in a while, while I’m standing out in the garden moving a hose for the eight-billionth time, I find myself wondering, Why can everybody here figure out how to live together when humans seem to be getting worse at it?
You’ve Got to Keep Them Separated
“You’ve got to keep them separated.” Probably most of my readers remember that song. Was it programmed into us to comply with the wishes of those with agendas…who profit off war, separation and division?
Could we have we accidentally turned it into a civilization model??
Different religion? Separate.
Different politics? Separate.
Different race? Separate.
Different country? Separate.
Different neighborhood? Separate.
Different class? Separate.
Different worldview? Separate.
Then, once we’ve separated everybody long enough, we’re surprised when they become suspicious of one another. We draw invisible lines then teach everybody what the people on the other side of the line supposedly are.
Good people live here – Bad people live there.
Our people believe this – Their people believe that.
Those people are dangerous – These people are trustworthy.
And MOST of the time, the person standing across the line hasn’t actually done anything to us! We were simply handed a story about them before we ever met.
High school, anyone? 🙂
I Notice Something Similar With Animals
People have warned me many times when I’ve brought home another animal….don’t put them together with your other animals! They claim:
– “They’re going to fight.”
– “The (dogs) won’t accept that animal.
– “The chickens/roosters will attack the newcomer.”
– “The cats won’t tolerate another cat, especially a feral!”
– “The big dogs might hurt the little rescue.”
And obviously there are situations where separation is responsible…..disease, injuries, fear, aggression……..sure…..SOME introductions need to happen slowly… I’m not suggesting everyone dump a dozen unfamiliar animals into the living room and yell, “WORK IT OUT, CHILDREN!” 😂
But I have noticed something in my own home… I don’t begin by assuming everybody is going to hate everybody! I expect adjustment, communication, boundaries….maybe a moment of separation and observation… But I also expect the possibility of friendship! And over and over again, I’ve watched animals that I was warned would never coexist become part of the same little society. I’ve even been told many of my rescues would NEVER go near a human! lol
But the truth is my big dogs ALWAYS protect the tiny rescues. The new cats eventually find their place…the ferals enter the tribe…the birds learn the flock and establish a pecking order. Sure….someone here and there might get a little irritated. But at the end of the day, they ALL find their place in the family and share feeding bowls without war!
AND we even had an abused feral kitty knock on our door…young enough to still need mommies milk…and the mother than chose to feed him never once asked where he was from, or what his beliefs were before she chose to take him in like her own. She recognized his need and stepped up. Like ALL loving beings would do.
What Do We Teach Before the Introduction Even Happens?
I’ve been in homes where animal introductions seemed almost frantic. I mean it was seriously stressful for ME…I can’t imagine how it would be for the animals in their care… They base entire daily rituals on putt this one outside, move that one into the bedroom or garage…close all doors and gates…feed this one here, the other an acre away…lol Some “rescuers” won’t even let them see each other, let alone let hem get close, sniff and meet one another! Sure. SOMETIMES that type of strict management is necessary…
But I’ve often wondered whether animals also absorb something from the humans managing the situation. Not mystical mind reading….but energy matching…? Our posture changes when we’re afraid. Our voices change. We tighten leashes. We hover. We show that we anticipate trouble by reacting faster……….and we ALL know they can sense our fear! Animals are remarkably attentive to human behavior, routines and emotional cues. So what happens when the message surrounding an introduction is already DANGER??? What happens when every creature involved feels the human becoming tense before anybody has even done anything???
And then I wonder whether humans do something very similar to children…
“Those People”
Nobody is born knowing which political party they’re supposed to despise. No one arrives on Earth understanding which religion is suspicious, or “the only true one!” A baby does not look across a national border and identify an enemy! Children have to be taught the lines. Occasionally those distinctions are useful. Cult-ures matter…His-story matters and sure….there really are dangerous people and ideologies in the world. It’s one thing to be aware of and respect these differences…and entirely another to judge another based on what the news, or a neighbor tells you. Discernment matters.
There is a major difference between, “Pay attention to people’s behavior,” and, “The people belonging to Category X, Y and Z are your enemy.” One teaches discernment, while the other teaches prejudice.
Maybe We Keep Confusing Difference With Danger
That may be the thing I see differently in the animals here. I don’t require sameness. A Great Pyrenees does not need to become a kitten before they’re allowed to share a home with me. The chicken doesn’t need the turkey to admit chickens are superior. The goat does not require the duck to convert. Nobody has written a doctrinal statement and required certain fur or feather colors. Nobody has formed a political action committee here and no one is demanding that the cat publicly denounce the ideological positions of the rooster! 🙂 They remain profoundly different creatures, with different personalities. Yet somehow here, difference does not become war.
That’s what I wish humans remembered. Getting along does not require becoming identical. Peace does not require agreement on everything. Community does not mean nobody ever irritates anyone. Loving one another does NOT mean everyone loses their boundaries…It means difference isn’t automatically interpreted as threat!
The Animals Aren’t Saints, Either
This is also important to address…Nature isn’t a permanent harmony circle. In fact it can be brutal at times. Those higher on the food chain eat some of the others…lol Animals compete, sometimes fight, defend territories and establish hierarchies. Sometimes they hurt one another, not always intentionally… I’m not romanticizing them as perfect beings…BUT what I am suggesting is that cooperation is also natural! Bonding is natural. Mutual protection is natural. Learning another creatures boundaries is natural. Living in groups is natural, and adjusting to newcomers is natural.
Sure…Conflict exists SOMETIMES…but conflict is NOT the only thing nature knows how to do. Maybe humans have simply become extraordinarily talented at rehearsing it. And rather than recognizing and addressing that….we STILL place blame on others….we blame schools, politicians, churches, musical lyrics, MKULTRA……………but what if we actually took responsibility for ourselves, our thoughts and our actions. I hear many preach peace and love….but WHO is actually going the extra mile to PROVE they believe in LOVE?
Expectations Aren’t Magic – But They Can Change Behavior/Experience
I don’t believe I can simply think happy thoughts at every animal and guarantee nobody will fight. That’s not actual reality in a world that promotes divide…but I do think expectations influence how I behave.
If I assume danger, I behave differently than I do if I assume possibility and potential! I’m calmer and more observant instead of panicked. I intervene when something ACTUALLY HAPPENS, rather than reacting to something I imagined might happen. I give creatures the space to communicate in their way. I pay attention to individuals rather than labels. And perhaps that changes the environment everybody is responding to…which of course makes me wonder, How often do humans create the very hostility we say we are protecting ourselves from???
Maybe not ALWAYS…but definitely often enough to ask these questions. I’m sure we’ve all heard, or even said ourselves that, “bad dogs equal bad human.” It seems obvious to many that they reflect our own behaviors and personalities…
Maybe We ALL Have Type of “Separation Anxiety”
Maybe our problem isn’t that we cannot tolerate separation but that we are terrified of not separating…? It seems MOST humans NEED to label everyone and everything…sorted, categorized into the “good” pile and the “bad pile. Us vs Them…Safe vs Dangerous…Believer vs Heretic, Left vs Right, Local vs Outsider……
And once somebody lands in the wrong pile, we stop meeting a person for who they actually are…we meet the label we’ve been taught. That seems like a very lonely and scary way to build a civilization….amounting in something like we are actually living in todays society…
Around Here, Everybody Gets to Become Somebody
That’s probably the difference I love most about this place. A newcomer isn’t required to arrive with the correct resume or belief system. They show up, we watch, we learn them and they learn us… Trust develops from behavior patterns…not because of a category, rumor or preconceived judgment. Not based on what somebody told me that type of animal or human is “supposed” to be like…ACTIONS!
And maybe there’s something humans could learn from that. Meet the individual, watch what they do….let their behavior and actions tell you who they are. Sure…always maintain boundaries and protect yourself and your loved ones when necessary. And feel free to leave genuinely dangerous situations. But don’t manufacture an enemy simply because someone belongs to a category you were trained to fear. My little world isn’t perfect, yet somehow Great Pyrenees, feral cats, chickens, ducks, turkeys, goats and assorted refugees from whatever chaos happened before they arrived here manage to build a life together. No one was required to become the same species first.
And maybe that’s the lesson.
You don’t have to become like me for me to make room for You! You don’t have to believe everything I believe. You don’t have to look like me or come from where I came from. You don’t need to understand the world exactly as I do…
Maybe we can simply meet…then decide what we think of one another based on what actually happens next.
Because if the animals can figure that much out…I still have some hope for us. Maybe we all really CAN get along…?
<3
Long ago I asked the question, “If LOVE is the answer to everything, why are we still asking questions?” This is NOT to say don’t ask questions…but maybe we can ask, are we acting in LOVE, or are we acting based on fear and programming? <3